Dickhead

by William Trowbridge

IN WHAT HE MISTOOK
for a fitness magazine,
Fool discovers the secret
of the penis: size
is everything.

He orders an enlarger
from a company called
Impossible Dream
Hydraulics.
It pumps him up
to bratwurst size, then
provolone, and,
with the last attachment,
retarded Siamese twin.

He doesn't know
how he'll find a dance card
long enough to match,
whether he's too large
for the goddess Renown.

He waits weeks by the phone,
rehearsing answers to People
and O, wondering
why he no longer cares
anymore about humankind
than does his bald companion,
which remains absorbed
in its simple calisthenics
and which he's come to resemble
around the brow.

Originally published in Ship of Fool (Red Hen Press).

6 Like
Log in to rate
0 Dislike