Da Last Speaker o' Engrish Dies

by Richard Cairo

SPECIAL TO DA SUBSPACE NEWS

MAY 12, 2012 — DA LAST SPEAKER o' an ancient language of Old Earth Engrish haz died at da age o' 146 an' a half, a leading cunning linguist haz told da SSN.

The death o' da female, LaSnonda Gonzalez Chan, waz pretty important b/c one o'da world's oldest languages, Engrish, waz havin' come ta an end, Professor da Professor said.

She said that New Earth 2.0 waz havin' lost a peaceable part o' it's heritage.

Languages in da New Earth 2.0 iz thought ta come from New Yawk. Some may be up ta 10 years old. Waz up with my Jersey boyz!!!

Professor da Professor — hoo works at da Coca Cola University College — said, "After da death o' da lady's parents, LaSnonda waz da last Engrish speaker fo' 60 ta 50 years.

"She waz often lonesome an' da female waz havin' ta learn an Engrish version o' Twitti in order ta communicate with peoples.

"But throughout da female's life da female waz mean an' da female called everyone an idiot fo’ no good reason."

>>; Yo dat iz prob'ly why she never smooshed any mo' an' did not gots any chiln.

If ah had seen her on da battlefield an' seen her face, ah prob'ly would not gots tried ta smoosh her. \ , , /

She did gots uh couple o' chiln, but dey left her in da old age peoples's preserve on da Moon. :-)>....

Dey gave up on trying ta speak Engrish when dey wuz young, cuz it wuz mad stupid like ya'll is mad stupid. J/K. LOL.

She said that LaSnonda's death waz a loss fo' smart peoples wanting ta study more. Like, why would da peoples want ta study more, though, iz meh right? AYFKMWTS

"The end o’ da Engrish language means that a part o’ human society iz now just a memory," Peoples Language Director Dorito Tang said.

Tang said that two languages in da Old Earth waz havin' now died out over da last 3 months an’ that this waz a no cause fo' concern.

"ROTFLMAO, as long as ya'll understand wot I'm saying, then hoo da fuck cares, iz meh right?"

(^-^)

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