Drinking Game for a Poetry Reading

Miscellaneous

by M.N. Hanson

One Drink:
• If the poet has a beard.
• If the poet is drinking water.
• Each time the poet uses the word "lover."
• The poem's title is included in the body of the poem.
• The poem references another famous poet.
• The poem mentions the sun, the rain, fire, or ice.

Two Drinks:
• If the poet is reading his or her work from an iPhone.
• If the poet mentions being bullied in high school.
• If the poem references a famous author.
•  The poem mentions blood or sex.
•  The poet is drinking tea.
• An audience member's phone goes off.

One Shot:
• If yours is the phone that went off.
• If the poem references a famous actor or actress.
• If the poet is reading his or her work from a laptop.
• The poem mentions outer space.
• The poet is drinking beer.
• Props are involved in any way.

Two Shots:
• If the poem references a famous comedian.
• If the poet mentions being elected Prom King or Queen in high school.
• If the poem maintains a traditional rhyme and meter.
• If the poet seems confused by his own work.
• The poem contains the term "inorganic matter."
• The poet is drinking a cocktail.

Waterfall:
• If the poem references Carl Sagan, Oprah's book club, or Burkina Faso.
• If the poem references a famous cartoon character.
• If the poem uses its aesthetic as an effective means of evoking amodel of both the personal and the existential.
• The poet mentions dinosaurs.
• The poet asks for a cigarette.
• The poet is doing shots

Chug:
• If the poem references Carl Sagan, Oprah's book club, AND Burkina Faso.
• If the poem references a famous snowboarder.
• If the poet has his or her own theme song.
• If the poet claims to have read Proust's In Search of Lost Time in its entirety.
• The poem contains the term "fecal sludge."
• The poet is drinking hard liquor straight from the bottle.

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