The Colonel and the Crime-lord

by Anthony Arnott

WE BELIEVE the man across the road is a Crime-lord. He
sits, for hours on end, in a car outside his house,
with another man, not going anywhere.
Just talking.

We once saw the Crime-lord in a suit. I thought
that he was on his way to the
funeral of an "associate," that would
have actually been
a coffin full of cash.

When we first moved in, I borrowed a hammer to put
some shelves up. I am now expecting the police
to knock on our door, having traced my
finger-prints to the
murder weapon.

Last week, there was a power-cut and I joked
that the Crime-lord was behind it, using the darkness to "off"
any ties he might have
to a recent bank robbery or other
armed robbery.
I watch too many films.

He has a cat
we call ‘The Colonel’. We say that he keeps watch
on his master’s house while he is disposing of
bodies and dealing drugs.

The Colonel is the only cat we allow
to shit in our garden

2 Like
Log in to rate
0 Dislike