The Jew Recipe

by C. H. Nissan

A QUART of whitefish
1 tablespoon permanent look of mild disdain
2 teaspoons of helicopter parenting
1 full cup of Manischewitz
2 sticks of being picked last in gym class
A pinch of cognitive behavior therapy
A dash of studying Buddhism
Mix together until Bubby and Zayda start to complain
Bake for ten hours until the Rabbi is finally done speaking
Let sit and trim off extra foreskin
Immediately request it be sent back and microwaved

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