Boss of Things

by Jeff Coomer

I LIKE BEING BOSS OF THINGS.
Spiders, for instance. I kill big
basement spiders with a broom,
but let small bedroom spiders live
so they can be Boss of gnats.
I'm Boss of house flies, too, and ants
on the sidewalk. Thump! My feet
land where I want them to land,
except when I walk in grass
with no shoes. Then bees are Boss.
It's OK for bees to be Boss
of barefoot walking because
bees aren't Boss of honey.
People are Boss of honey.
People are Boss of cows, too.
If I want meatloaf or juicy steak,
People make cows give me
meatloaf or juicy steak.
I like being Boss of giving.
Here you go, my good man, I say
to people looking poor on the street,
or Nothing from me today, pal.
It's me that decides. Same with
waitresses and people standing
at tables outside supermarket doors.
I'm the Decider, the Big Cheese,
the Big Kahuna, El Capitan,
the Man, the Man with the Plan.
Call me Chief for short.
At work Chief is Boss of time.
Time to go or Time to stay, I tell
tired cubicle people. When I say
Go they think I'm a good Boss.
Thanks, Boss, they all say.
You're welcome, cubicle people,
I respond. Everyone is happy.
We think you should be Boss
of more things, they say.
Yes, I reply, I should be Boss
of more things.

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