Smells Like Team Spirit

Source: Phrases found on oldspice.com

by Howie Good

1
MOUNTAINS ARE the Earth's muscles.
If your lady friends ever summit
the actual Matterhorn, they'll think,
"This mountain smells just like
(insert your name)'s armpit."

2
Is there a better image
than one of those landlords
that live in outer space
and never just "stops by"
to make sure the refrigerator
has been cleaned?
It's a rhetorical question.

3
You can send your armpits
to where they will smell
like palm trees and sunshine,
the exotic islands of Fiji
walking off into the sunset
with live Komodo shoes.

4
While other men
may choose
to transport
themselves
via minivans, bikes
or filthy taxis,
you choose
to turn invisible,
both hands
raised triumphantly
in the air.

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