Robert Pinsky Never Actually Said This in Rodanthe

by Ed Kornfeld

Years ago I once stood behind Robert Pinsky
in a Burger King at a rest area
on I-95 just outside of Rodanthe.
I would have preferred a KFC,
cloyingly greasy inside, crispy fried badness outside,
but the wife, the kids, they keened for burgers.

Pinsky ordered a Happy Meal and I blurted out
Isn't that symbolic? and he turned around slowly
called me a cocksucking son of a one-eyed whore
and so I asked him why he was dripping wet head to toe
And he said he had just come from Waterfall Park
had enjoyed the two water slides and suddenly
needed to eat something disgusting

I told him we were on our way to Waterfall Park
And he said Watch out, a registered sex offender works there,
and also the bungee jump ride looked a little unsound
I thanked him and he bent over slightly and used his hands
to make his ass cheeks mouth "You're welcome."

Back in the car, empty handed, listening
to the wife, the kids keen some more
I pulled out of the rest area, pulled out my gun,
told them I can’t make the world pretty,
but I can make it safe.

But first we stopped off for pizza.

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