I Called Collect to Kepler 452b

by Melanie Browne

I called collect to
planet Kepler 452b,
a man accepted
the charges.
the man said,
"Hello? I'm calling
from the planet Earth,
I don't think we have a
number or anything.
maybe it's 1A?"
the man had a
midwest accent.
"who are you trying to
reach? this call is
costing me a
pretty penny, sweetheart."
"I don't know,
I was bored?"
"My name's Jimmy
Jimmy Hoffa," the man said
"oh my God, Jimmy
I thought you were
buried inside
someone's porch!"
"Nah, I can't stand
mid-century architecture!'
"Listen honey, don't
tell anyone I'm here
this place is a nice
unpopulated retirement
community and it's gonna
stay that way!"
with that he hung up
the phone,
and I forgot to
ask him how he got
there in the first place.
I hung up the receiver
and watched the
moon shine
dimly through
my street

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