The Landlady Objects to the Surrealists

by Valentine Williams

"THREATENING WEATHER indeed, Monsieur Magritte."
That old tart Dali's watch has melted in the heat.
"Signor Chirico, you will miss that train.
If the viaduct collapses, you really can't complain.

Another of my little moans: the fish that's in the hall -- the one that's on the bicycle -- has stained the kitchen wall.
And really, Mr Dali, you have lowered the tone
putting a live red lobster on my telephone.

What do you think you're doing Mr Ernst? That elephant is sick!
Take it back outside at once! Or there's notice to evict.
A photograph of dolls’ heads in a bottle isn't nice.
Mr Bellmer, please remove it. Let me give you that advice.
Watch out for Leonora. She's a wild one. All that hair!
And please, who put that sunflower on Dottie Tanning's stair?
Boys will be boys alright, that I know full well,
But ants have no place in my home, Senhor Bunuel.

Ask M. Breton, if you would, to come and have a word
as he's the one who started this and I doubt that he's insured.
Surreal is as Surreal does; your rent is due this time
and no amount of melting watches will make me change my mind.”

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