Rhetorical Modes with Which My Wife and I Failed to Cue the Car Salespersonby Dustin Michael
Me: "This one here is really something, but we're both English professors. We're talking, like, barely middle class here. Lower, lower middle, somewhere."
Neesha (my wife): "We were looking into getting one of those years ago, remember?"
Me: "Right. My God, what were we thinking?"
Neesha: "It was pretty unrealistic then."
Me: "It's pretty unrealistic now."
Salesperson: "It's got great trunk space."
Me: "Pretend that middle class is like a pull-up bar. We are barely doing a pull-up."
Salesperson: "What a lot of folks do is lease. You pay for a while, then when it makes more sense, you buy."
Me: "You know how when you do a pull-up, once you're up, that's like, as high as you go? That's like us, with, again, the bar being the bottom of the middle class, and our arms like, wobbling."
Neesha: "We're thinking something maybe $15,000 to $19,000, max., before the trade-in. Low teens is what we're going for here."
Salesperson: "I can get you into this new Pathfinder for $30,000."
Salesperson: "With the dealer rebates, it's basically just as cheap if not cheaper than getting one used."
Neesha: "But we're not looking for a new Pathfinder. We're looking for, ideally, a vehicle that costs ten to twenty thousand dollars less than that."
Salesperson: "There's so much more leg room in them, though. I wouldn't want to ride around in the back row of one of those other kinds we have."
Me: "You could just lie down in the back row, I mean just pull your feet up by the window and, you know, ride."
Salesperson: "Let me go get the keys. You're going to love that new Pathfinder."