O That I Were a Little Nekked Man*

by Gregory Lawrence Stewart

O that I were a little nekked man
in-too-it-tively grand
I would slap my dork on the table
and ask everyone, ''Is that all that I am?''

O that I were a little nekked man
inland up on the beach
I'd get sand on my butt and be gritty
but keep the sea weed out of reach

I'd drag my balls along the rocks
you'd know just who I am in deed
O that I were a little nekked man …
but then I'm not! Oops!
I've shot my load and all my seed!

*Honorable mention, asinine poetry literary contest, spring 2002

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