A Little Mischief Ain't Never Hurt No One

by Meatball Brown

HEY you kids!
I see you back there
behind the forsythia bushes!
Get your asses out here!
D'you little shits think it's funny
to lob eggs at an old man's
bay windows
in the middle of the night?
To fill an old man's mailbox
with shaving cream, dog mess, and
firecrackers?
Was it funny when you inbred bastards
fed my dog that Ex-Lax cake
and locked him in my car?
Was it funny when you T.P.'d my magnolia tree
and set it on fire?
You like funny?
I'll show you funny!
I may look like an old coot to you,
but I'm an old coot with a repeating,
pneumatic nailgun,
and if you sons-a-bitches think
I'm gonna take this lying down,
step up to my front door,
so's I can pop a round of blued lathing nails
in your ass!
Rotten bastard kids!

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