Look Ma No Hands

A haiku with extra toppings

by Easter Cathay

WHEN they said to come
alone and unarmed, I thought
they meant ''weaponless''

and I had no idea
they would consider my crab lice
to be companions, nor that the contest
involved a solitary armless masturbation
competition against the reigning champion,
''No-Hands-Clapping,'' a thoroughly
enlightened Zen monk

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