General Thoughts About People I Know*

by A. Georgi

I knew this guy
who wouldn't say anything serious until you
knew him for 2 months.
I couldn't wait that long.

Some people say the same word over and over;
like my mom's friend who calls everything fun, ''a riot.''
I bet if she was in a real riot she wouldn't say that so often.

Some people go around talking about how honest they are
just because they want to be able to call you fat to your face.

I don't think eccentric people are funny,
or even that interesting.
I wouldn't want to sit and watch a movie about a guy
who worships his shoes
for very long at all.

I get sick of these people yelling all the time
in elevators
about how tired they are
from last night.
If you are so tired stop yelling.

I knew this girl
who liked to personify.
She got lonely and imagined the computer was in love with her.
I found this unlikely, since she had extremely ugly fingers.

I knew this girl who talked about smoking weed
all the damn time and in relation to everything.
She was like one of those mathematicians that can
tell you the square root of any number you give them,
except with her you could give her any subject,
and she would relate it to weed.

My roommate and I know this girl who is so
annoying we expect it may be some
sort of social experiment to see how people react
to the most annoying person in the world.
If so, keep up the good work.

My cousin dated a guy I thought might
be a robot because he had never smiled and
had an exceptional vocabulary.
One time I asked her if she had ever seen him go
to the bathroom and she laughed,
but I could tell she was thinking about it.

Sometimes I think I may hate people
with umbrellas most of all.

For the most part I like people
born in February and people with tattoos.
I really should get some stricter guidelines.

*Don't worry, they are not about you.

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