Rumors of the Death of Dada

''Dada is gone, finito, kaput, zero, dead.'' —
The New York Times, Sept. 6, 2000

by Ray Freed

DUCK walks into a bank, demands
2 eggs over easy with bacon. Teller
says You won't get to Damascus
on this train, this train goes to Cleveland.

Alexander Dumas holds his breath
underwater for 18 minutes. As he
surfaces a phone rings in the offices
of Hormel … Company, Austin, Texas.

Security threatens to arrest the Dalai Lama,
standing on his head on the sidewalk
in front of the UN building intoning a mantra:
Moo Shoo Pork, Moo Shoo Pork, Moo Shoo Pork.

Tetsue Koyanagi of Japan's pole vault squad
at the 2000 Sydney Olympics discovers a
diamond in a kielbasa served him at the Polish
Pavilion. He says, ''I wish to be poriticary correck.''

Bank teller catches a wrong train to work,
ends up in a duck farm in Eastport.
Two ducks in red aprons serve him
eggs over easy with bacon.

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