Our Pet Schnauser, Hedoro

by Meatball Brown

OUR pet Schnauser, Hedoro,
we trained
to use the remote control
and sit in my father's favorite chair.
Of course, Hedoro eventually
grew possesive of the remote
and the chair,
and trained us
to fetch him
milkbones and beer.
It was a difficult time
under that little tyrant's regime,
but we eventually
regained our hold
of the household
by leaving a trail
of meaty bits
and doggie porn
that lead straight
to a bear trap
in the back yard.
Oh, how Hedoro wailed
and wailed
when his forepaw
was crushed in the jagged,
rusty steel jaws
of that trap.
Stupid schnauser.
Should have just given up
the remote

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