Crotch Rot on Our Collective Penis, in Three Parts

by Marybeth Niederkorn, Poet Extraordinaire

Part I
HAVE you ever heard of soap pubes?
You know, when you have a bar of soap
and you use it to wash up & stuff?
Well I was drunk in my friend's shower
And I realized this great truth about life.
If you pick up a bar of soap there
happens to be, like, a pube on it, you know?
Don't claw it out, because you'll never
know if it's yours or not, and then you get
this thing where you have a pube in your nails and
it's all stuck in soap, and your fingers are
slippery from all the soap … so you can't get it out.
I hate that.

Part II
america is taking commercialism and tearing it to shreds
dropping all the pieces into our gonadal beds.

Part III
Masturbating in the shower
should be called
deep palming.

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