The People's Pooper Scooper

by Itchy N Scratchy

IF we, like dogs,
crouched and went
anywhere we pleased,
wouldn't it be grand
if there was some thing
to deal with our crap —

A mechanical arm, perhaps,
emitting whiffs of sulphur,
could appear and, bending,
scoop …

Or a civil service employee,
white-gloved, ambrosia-scented,
could patrol the streets and remove
any steaming problem …

Then instead of enclosing ourselves,
Times in hand, candle lit,
we'd be free to take some Sun,
breathe fresh air, think
to eat more prunes, and
be thankful
it’s all being well
taken care of.

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