Sorority Worldby Dustin Michael
LITTLE Earth leaves the sorority meeting initiated.
She escaped a hazing, but feels less than elated
at having rushed with the planets in this solar system;
she cringes she'll inevitably pillow fight and kiss them.
Of course Mercury's petite, Earth scowls. She's like, a midget
And Venus is gloomy, and the rest just seem frigid.
Then she turns silent, remembering that
Until recently everyone was calling her flat.
And worse, gun blasts now make her seem unrefined,
and her complexion is pocked-up from being strip-mined.
Acid rain and pollution are making her bitter
while her wardrobe is so 1994 litter.
So though she's relieved that her new sister spheres
didn't circle with Sharpies her fat as she feared,
She can sense all the eyes of those heavenly bods
Staring right at her bulging America, like, Omigod.