A Healthy Argument for Human Cloning*

by Quint McGuinley

Allow me, Mr. Robinson.
to pose to you a task.
It involves your occupation
and an Erlenmeyer Flask.

I heard of your achievements
as a bio-engineer.
So sit right down and please permit
my thoughts to reach your ear.

I'd like to make a duplicate,
A clone of my dead lover,
for purposes I'll not divulge
though I'm sure you'll soon discover.

Don't hesitate to name your price,
for I am never cheap.
My wealth is great and soon you'll see
that no amount's too steep!

And as for DNA, my friend,
I hold right here her blouse.
It's stained with gunk for splicing life.
I stole it from her house!

I beg you, doc, to please be quick.
Her presence will be missed.
I'd rather not involve the law,
for at me they'll be pissed!

I'd have to run away and hide,
for I've no alibi.
But, doc, I didn't kill her dead,
and that's I swear no lie!

So mix a batch of human goo,
and set about creatin'.
I'm really getting anxious now,
and I can't stand more waitin'.

What's that you say? The cops are here?!
You dirty ratfink fool!
My life was in your hands just now.
Your actions I deem cruel.

So as it stands I've much to lose,
but hopefully you're willing
to offer me some cyanide
'cause I need some mercy killin'.

*Prize winner, asinine politics and social commentary poetry contest, spring 2004

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