I'll Tell Ya What I Want

by Mal Torme

I want all the noise to stop outside my window
I want that guy in the bar who keeps getting drunk and saying, ''Ladies, you're lookin' at a man with low-carb semen'' . . . I want that to stop
I want that last half-donut
I want to live in a world where we're all honest enough to say, ''I judge a man not by the color of his skin, but by the content of his wallet''
. . . that last quarter of a donut now
I want people to stop saying, ''Yeah, right?''
That guy on the bus in front of me, who keeps chewing out his secretary on his cell phone the whole way in? I wanna take the phone and smash his face in, and then smash his head too, smash smash smash, and then I wanna say, ''Can you hear me now?''
I want her sex thing, and I want to not be afraid to say I want her sex thing, but in a much more delicate manner
I wanna not have to keep buying the next new way to watch or listen to something every three-to-five years, even if people say, ''What are you crazy? It's so cheap now, you can get one for 40 bucks!'' Because it's not 40 bucks when you have to rebuy your favorites in every new format
I wanna stop having to spend five days thinking about how that thing makes me mad
I wanna call Mike and the Mad Dog and hear myself say, ''First time-long time,'' and hear them say, ''Nice to have you aboard, Mal''

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