First Blood

by John Kerry

MY opponent likes to say I'm indecisive
My opponent likes to say I flip flop on issues
My opponent likes to say a lot of . . . doodie
I'm telling you we have a plan
We have plan that
if that jackass keeps saying I'm indecisive and flip-flopping on the issues
I'll show him the business side of an M-16
although, to be honest, America,
he's probably never seen either side before

America, I say to you
It's not fair that tax breaks go to the top one percentile of the population
It's not fair that African Americans are worse off than they were four years ago
It's not fair that Hispanic Americans are worse off than they were four years ago
It's not fair that women are worse off than they were four years ago
It's not fair that wheelchair-bound left-handed factory-working single parents
       are worse off than they were four years ago
It's not fair that I can't lay a M18A1 Claymore antipersonnel mine underneath
       my opponent's podium during the debate

It's not fair, in fact, it's wrong, America
And when I'm president that's going to change

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