I Love Christmas

by ern modern

'TWAS Christmas Day, just like today,
I did the deed I done.

Through winter snow, and walking slow,
I reached his home, North Pole.

The place was small, a reindeer stall.
The smell was quite intense.

He, all alone, without a phone—
He more than welcomed me.

So in his house, he had no spouse.
Don't let them tell you so.

And all the elves kept to themselves
In sweatshops to the South.

We talked a bit about a mitt
He planned to give a boy.

And he talked more about his lore,
the parts that were all wrong.

We had a drink. Sloe gin, I think.
And then we went to bed.

But through the night my eyes were bright.
I snuck into his room.

And as a start, I stabbed his heart,
His sheets all turning red.

It's been a year. Soon you will hear
That Santa's really dead.

So no more toys, no Christmas joys,
And I'm the one to blame.

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