Employee Handbook

by Aaron Earl Short

AT my new job there are a few things they will not tolerate. Things like not showing up (without calling), sexual harassment aint cool there either. (I read it in the Employee Handbook.)
They like teamwork. They have meetings about it.
They buy us pizza every couple of months to keep us all fired up about working ten-hour days.
They like to see hustle. They like the go-getters.
They don't like sexism, racism, homophobia, and people hitting each other. (I also read that in the Handbook.) But since I've started working my new job, I've heard all the racist jokes you can imagine . . . some joke about one of my co-workers sitting on the face of another. (I forgot how it goes.) And I've heard endless homophobic confessions.
But yesterday, one guy punched another, three times. They both were sent home for three days. The way I see it, that's one day off per punch for both of them.
''It takes two to tango." At least that's what the boss said.
What bums me out is this;  I don't think I have the stamina, nor the chin to get a full two weeks off at this place.

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