I Want a New Pope

(Apologies to Huey Lewis and the News)

by Catty Marlboro

I want a new pope
One who won't make me pray
One who won't make me tell my sins
And lets me sleep late Sundays

I want a new pope
One who won't make me kneel
One who lets me eat meat for Lent
Like pork chops or veal

One that won't make me nervous
When I go online
One who doesn't tell me
there's someone watching all the time
watching all the time

I want a new pope
One who won't drool
One who treats women fair
Says no prayer in school

I want a new pope
One who won't bugger boys
One who won't make me go to church
and listen to all that noise

One who won't make me teary
worrying about hell
One who won't forbid me to use contraceptive gel
to use contraceptive gel, baby

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