Why Does it Hurt When I Pee in the Mississippi River?

by Tony Voss

BACK in the Bible days
God was a lot more
Hands-on
Floods, Plagues, Famines,
He did it all
And this one time
These towns of Sodom and Gomorrah
They was getting down
Wife-swapping, ass-slapping, cock-sucking,
They did it all
And God was pissed
Because as a non-corporeal
Pretend deity
He couldn't get any
So he created the STD
And aimed to give the world
Gonorrhea, Herpes, Syphilis,
We'd get it all
But God was sleepy
And a little hung over
So he missed his mark
Sodom and Gomorrah were safe
And that is how Cape Girardeau was founded

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