Employee Appreciation Day, or Why We Are All Heroes

by Steven McDougal

IT'S a day to praise the contribution
Of the laggard two cubicles down.
It's a day for a baboon in motion
To paint his face up like a friendly clown.

Recounted here are only noble actions.
Forgotten are the daily infractions;
The cussing in personal interactions,
Poorly timed leering, or ''Don't use contractions.''

We're all heroes, I hear him bravely say,
Bravely tending to everyday duties.
We're heroes in a plain sort of way
Facing everyday incongruities.

It's not just the year's of noble service,
It's not just the time of decades served,
Not just sittin' there all oblivious
Waitin' for a reward richly deserved,

It's about all you heroic people!
You're heroes all; wise, kind, charitable.
Smiling through your problems by the heapful,
Mostly calm and rarely hysterical.

You wonderful people, you are the soil,
Yes, the soil in which we richly grow.
You are the carbuncles and the oil
Sitting there harmlessly, letting things flow.

Yes, it's people who move our ship forward;
Your wind that fills our sails a-blowin'.
With boundless energy moving door-ward
Fifteen minutes before a-closin'.

Wisdom, the art of anticipation.
The noble art of leaving things undone.
The art of faking sick days as vocation,
If I understand the wise and wizened one.

Then he quoted authors, something gracious.
A statesman's speech made people's spirits lift.
To quote a great poet, something spacious.
To quote just now Mai Hugh Jass, Pffffft.

Yes, we can all be heroes for 30 years or more.
Get up out of bed, fart twice, and go mind the store.

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