Night on Bald Mountain: 17 Haikus about Ron Howard

by Gordon Stanley

RUSSELL Crowe and Ron
have made two ''films'' together now
They should get a room
No one wants to see
Ron Howard without a hat
Not even his kids
With Spielberg envy
you direct sweeping movies.
Splash wasn't too bad
Richie Cunningham
What happened to you?
Did Fonzie teach you nothing?
You direct bad scripts
Akiva Goldsman the hack?
You must be kidding
Nice Andy Griffith
can never tell you
''Boy, you sure growed up homely.''
Saccharine last scenes--
cue the James Horner music--
Kill diabetics
There's just no excuse
You made a live action Grinch
There's just no excuse!
He's just as ugly
but your brother Clint is cool.
Pour me some tranya!
You did Night Shift
Which launched Michael Keaton
Another reason not to like you
On your honeymoon
Did your wife play Mussorgsky?
''Night on Bald Mountain''
I'll use a quote
from Ransom with Mel Gibson:
''Gimme back my money!''
Arrested Development on Fox
Now that is all right
I liked Cocoon
if they made it today
It'd be called Viagra
Happy Days
was really
American Graffiti: Phantom Morons
Potsie and Ralph,
you ever talk to them?
Maybe they never call you?
You're directing
The Da Vinci Code with Tom Hanks
It's perfect for you

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