Dogsitting in Paradise

by Tippy McCann

I had a dear friend who was going away
For a very long time could I please come and stay
In his big empty house with his two lonely dogs
Who eat once a day and then sleep like logs
There's a caretaker to tend to the yard and the house
And nothing to do for you and your spouse
Come and sit with my dogs
It’s as easy as that
So I sat and I sat and I sat and I sat

The puppies he had were really quite sweet
But they looked at the world as something to eat
So there go my glasses and my favorite hat
While I sat and I sat and I sat and I sat

She was there to take care of the house and the yard
But her bizarre behavior put me on guard
She’d walk and she’d talk and she'd contradict air
And her endless monologues made me despair
Her hair was of fire
Her eyes were of stone
The devil's handmaiden
He'd made her his own
And venom leaked from each word she spat
while I sat and I sat and I sat and I sat

We'd see all the neighbors as we'd walk down the lane
They were all very civil except for one pain
His name was Stu Wiseman
Although he was not
He thought of himself as quite a big shot
He called the police on our barking dogs
But it was not them
They were sleeping like logs
But the police did come
And though they were very polite
I must be with the dogs all day and all night
No barking allowed
Not a yip or a yap
While I sat and I sat and I sat and I sat

The security alarm would go off in the night
Not a burglar around
But it gave us a fright
My heart would be pounding
My chest would be tight
And no sleep for us for the rest of the night
I was starting to look like a crazy old bat
Still I sat and I sat and I sat and I sat

They finally came and took me away
To a place near or far I really can't say
My room is of rubber
And there's no Valley View
And I sit here all day with nothing to do
Yes I sit and I sit and I sit and I sit
And I sit and I sit and I sit and I sit
And I sit and I sit and I sit and I sit
Cause I sat.

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