Song of the Ticket

by Ook, Warrior Poet

I have cleared Level 82.
It is time to quest.
My fellow adventurers
come along
come along
My dark-skinned elven friend
Uberduber Spragenduber
takes the carriage reins
while the druid-wizard
Bombs'us Sumshit
keeps an eye out for attackers.
We stop at a local shop
a seedy joint
but it's what we're after
They sell me a ticket
for one gold
and I begin to scratch it.
I scratch, I scratch, to no avail,
until I reach a point
that scratches off and says
WINNER
I've won another ticket!
Huzzah! Huzzah!
A ticket is for me!
I dash inside to claim my prize
Alas! the system, she's down
And so I rejoin
Bombs'us and
Uberduber
to rethink our plan.
We go to another shop nearby
but they don't sell tickets
They direct us down the path a bit
to Old Jasper, who'll help us out
Uberduber mutters
''We'll get better service elsewhere''
Bombs'us says
Uberduber
just doesn't know where
Old Jasper
lives.
We try the place Uber describes
but they don't sell tickets, either.
So it's to Jasper after all
whose ticket machine
is also down.
Curses! Curses! Pig snot and gore!
I have been thwarted again!
And with a roar
I draw my sword
to challenge Jasper's refusal.
''Put that away, we are hooligans not,''
Uberduber says.
''You've been out of the sun too long,''
Bombs'us shouts him down.
He draws a Firebomb of Bombing
(+8, for those who care)
and Uberduber groans.
We lay waste to Jasper's hut
of selling and of trading.
We plunder, loot, rob, and sunder,
make off with small snack cakes.

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