Year-View Mirror: The Year 2005 in Rhyme

by Scott Emmons

GREAT heavens alive! The year Two Thousand Five
Was a whirlwind that left us light-headed!
As everyone knows, we had more highs and lows
Than the see-sawing price of unleaded!

What with Middle East tensions and problems with pensions,
The year was a white-knuckle ride.
The dollar was weak as Rob Schneider's physique,
And on top of it, Gilligan died!

There were Charles and Camilla, King Kong the gorilla,
''Fat Actress'' on prime-time TV.
In Washington, Murtha went off like Big Bertha,
And Deep Throat announced, ''It was me!''

In Hollywood news, lovey-dovey Tom Cruise
Was amusing, though some thought him hokey.
Jen Aniston split with her hubby Brad Pitt,
And Martha got out of the pokey.

There was gossip galore! Demi Moore made a score
When she married young Ashton, who'd wowed her.
Though judged to be weird, Michael Jackson was cleared,
But of course his career took a powder.

There was quite a to-do over politics too,
With discussions impassioned and blistery.
The Right thought Alito was perfectly neat-o,
And Harriet Miers was history!

When DeLay was indicted, the Left was delighted
(Though neither side showed great maturity).
Fierce battles were waged as the arguments raged
Over salvaging Social Security.

A few were arrested when Sheehan protested,
Iraq got a new constitution,
And tempers ran high as a dinosaur's eye
When the school boards addressed evolution.

That man of renown, Alan Greenspan, stepped down
And the Fed got a guy named Bernanke,
While a fellow named Scooter, who seemed a straight-shooter,
Faced charges of high hanky-panky.

Beyond the U.S. there was plenty of stress.
The U.N. was a mess, it was reckoned.
They were trying Hussein, and we all felt the pain
At the passing of John Paul the Second.

And then came the swarms of calamitous storms
With a fury that nothing could tame.
There followed much grumbling, as FEMA was fumbling
And ''blame'' was the name of the game!

There's just no denying the year has been trying
(My gosh, what a hullabaloo!)
From the runaway bride who so brazenly lied
To the threat of the avian flu!

But though as a nation we've had some frustration,
We're far from the end of our rope.
In the month of December it helps to remember
That New Year's a symbol of hope.

As we close out the year with a measure of cheer
And some courage thrown into the mix,
Let our hopes never cease for an era of peace
And a happier 2006!

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